Wednesday 21 September 2016

THE KEY TO KEEP YOUR COOL

Hello readers! :)
We're back after a long break. Hope I find you all in good health.
Today's post is on a much needed issue. Recently I have starting moderating a group and have alot of people commend me on my patience and ask how I keep my cool in tricky situations.
Well... Thank you guys.. but I'm only human, naturally I loose it at times too, but I try to stretch my threshold to the max.
As a child and teen, I was a pretty worked up and short tempered individual. . As age started to happen :) I grew relatively calm.
Since a calm patient personality is key to a happy life.. I've decided to share what works for me.
So before we go into HOW TO BE CALM in hot situations let's first try to AVOID them. Here's how:

HOW TO AVOID HEATED ARGUMENTS

1) STAYING QUIET:
This is the most difficult part. But if you're in an argument and the other person starts shouting or is angry beyond reasoning. Stay quiet. It'll be difficult. . But bite your tongue.. because whatever you say at that moment will only aggravate it.
If one is quiet and one is shouting/talking.. its not really an argument right?
Give them time to cool down and then very civilly present your point of view.
The other person will respect you more.. and will definitely listen to you this way because they will be embarrassed for their reaction too.

2) IS IT WORTH IT?
Think about it..? Is the argument worth it? Was it personal or just a random thing..? Countless times we react on things not even worth the bitterness they cause. Take a step back and analyse and then decide your stance.

Let's say all of the above failed and despite not wanting it you're stuck in a bad scenario. An argument, a fight.. A heated debate. Here how you can still try to remain calm.

HOW TO REMAIN CALM AND INCREASE PATIENCE:

1) COUNT TILL 10:
If you feel your rage coming over. Simply forget everything and count till 10. Slowly. Breathe in and out with every number. Feel the anger draining out with each exhale and positivity coming in with each inhale.

2) DO THEY REALLY MEAN IT:
Sometimes people say hurtful or bad things in the gist of the moment. They don't mean any of it on the contrary they regret saying it the moment it comes out of their mouth. Think what will they gain by hurting you? Why would they say it..? Would they gain anything?
Give others the benefit if the doubt.. sometimes they are having a bad day, and you've just given them an outlet. I assure you until and unless they have a grudge against you.. They will come and apologise once they've cooled.

3) AM I OVER REACTING:
Step back and think... was getting into this debate an over reaction? Was it this big of a deal..? Sometimes the emotions get the best of us and you end up in the sticky situation even if you didn't want to be in it in the first place.

4) LEAVE:
If you feel everything failing.. and that your control is slipping.. its better to leave the place. Get a grip.. calm down and get back to talk it out like adults.

5) LEARN TO DETACH:
This is my personal favourite although I still need to work on it. The more you feel something emotionally.. The more strongly you'll react. So..? Learn to detach your emotions in such situations. Don't take things personally.

6) ISLAMIC STANCE:
Anger is discouraged in Islam. It advises you to stay quiet. And if standing, sit down and if sitting lie down. Also to have a glass of water and say Astagfaar. All of these things are miraculously effective. Only if we remember to practice them in the heat of the moment.

Remember life is too short to waste on the negatives. A positive happy go lucky life is what's needed in today's stressed out world. Positive people are fun to be with. . They uplift the mood of the whole group.
Practice these points.. They will surely take time but I assure you.. you will definitely feel more calm.. and more at peace.
Always be kind to one another.. everyone is fighting battles. Give people chances. Leave judgment on God. Exude positivity.
A positive calm life.. is a happy life.
Stay happy loves.
Regards,
Dr. Mom Chef xx

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3 comments:

  1. Staying Quite... Is the most Perfect situation in any argument . Really worked for me . Allah bless you more Ameen :)

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  2. Worth sharing tips to keep calm and happy:) I also try to keep calm in frustrating situations by just keeping myself quiet. And i think it's good not to show others your frustrations in some situations.

    ReplyDelete